Empty!

I sit here near an empty table and think about this life. Can I recognize something? I let loose and feel everything around me.
The earth’s still turning year by year
The seasons‘re still changing month by month
The time’s still flying day by day
The sunset and the moonrise
And this world… still keeps its circle.
I can’t stop them even though I stop my own life.
I sit here near an empty box and hear the sound of my life
I hear that I am growing up, growing not only outside, but also inside. I am becoming an adult and will be getting old.
I hear that I wasted so much time; I’m chasing one thing hopelessly and I become to be stuck
I sit here face to face a blank paper and I see…
Everybody goes passing me and I am blurring as a shadow…
I see the raindrop still stagnates in leaves after rains… frail but pure.
I see the trees in wind. They bud and grow up …get bigger and bigger until become exhausted…and never leave …their root.
And I see an empty inside me… No will, no ambition, no belief, and no aspiration.
What can I do?
Where can I go?
No way, and no choice.
This life still keeps going on to catch its own circle and also pull me go even I don’t know which places I will be? What will I be? How will I be? No answer.
Finish an old year and finish a full 19th years old… Happy birth day to me!
Frail…but pure.
01.20.09